Journey to being truly in love...with yourself

Have you ever loved someone so much that you felt as though you were losing yourself in them? Now you have to learn to undo a whole lifetimes worth of behaviors. You have to learn how to lose yourself in yourself. Really get to know yourself. How many times has someone asked you what you wanted to eat or where you wanted to go for a night out. How many times have you replied “ Oh I don’t know you choose.” or “I don’t care.” Then when your eating Chinese take out for the third night in a row. You think your partner isn’t romantic or this really isn’t what you wanted. We as women give away so much of our power on little things just to seem agreeable. That we are no longer true to ourselves. Now I’m not saying that everything has to be your way all the time. No, we have to learn to compromise without compromising ourselves and what we truly want. My dear sisters anything I say to you in this note is real, but it is truth, what I have found to be truth. I hope you know that you are not alone because I am taking this journey with you. When I started the mirror exercise all sorts of emotions started to spring up. I spent a week being moody and I didn’t know why until I sat and thought about it. I was angry at myself because I realized that I had created the things in my life that had made me unhappy. When I turned the focus from outward to inward I saw the choices I had made that had gotten me to this place. I was tired all the time. My body felt like it was falling apart. I was overweight.(by my own standards, for my own comfort) I was emotionally a wreck and my mind raced constantly. I couldn’t sleep half the time. So I said to myself “ENOUGH!” My mind body and spirit were so out of balance I was barely functioning. As much as I didn’t want to admit it. I was solely responsible for the state of my life. So, what do you do when this realization occurs after the anger and the tears? You forgive yourself for everything. Every little choice, every heartbreak, every sorrow, all the guilt forget it and forgive yourself. As much as you’d like to use yourself as a punching bag don’t. Love yourself gently as you would a child, because essentially you are being reborn. When all of the junk is gone you’ll feel like your missing something. You’ll be tempted to go to the trash where you put all the stuff you just let go of and take out a little guilt. Maybe two or three pieces of sorrow. You don’t want that because after a while all the garbage you took out will be back in your house stinking the place up. No, you don’t want that. You must fill that space with you. Fill that space with love.